DAZED AND LOST: NYC FUKWITZ RAGE!!!

(Losers at a basement party. Photo: Richard Petrucci)

There's just no excuse why no one wrote anything for 2 months! I guess we've been on a siesta or some fuck-wit induced coma that has led me, the principle writer, to write about funny and not so funny shit going on in life. And not just any life but the life I see, trust me it's more interesting than yours most days. Or not.  Been hanging out in the country as an escape fron New York.  It's all part of my bailout plan: Lay- low.  In the meantime, I go to  the Giant Supermarket and hit on the cashiers who've never seen a handsome yank' look this good since Will Smith(lame).  Did you know that when you're attractive, people give you things. Ugly people give you THINGS!

July went too quick. I couldn't even enjoy it. I was busy tracking new songs and partying in the ugly capital of the United States(philly). According to M.Werth a Philly 10 is equivalent to a New York 4. So if you're at one of Dave P's parties and some girl wants to fuck you- watch out! She's not that beautiful. 

Even though July went by rather fast alot of good things happened. An ex rang me out of the blue and we scheduled days to screw silly in LA for a few days. I found 50 dollars on the ground by the Dumbo treasure dump, Historics released their album(and it's good!), Jack Bower's bromance-casted birthday was really weird, and I watched 19 year-olds do lines of each other while  some girl was giving their cat coke(he overdosed). Speaking of dying, not in the way Dave Gahan was ranting about in that "I'm a drug-addict and my wife hates me" Depeche Mode video,  Dash Snow died(RIPS)- Fuck man, Michael Jackson Died!!! 

So, kiddies, a lot can happen when we're not around to tell you about S**T...because I'm sure the above mentioned is "News" to you.  Stay tuned this week for our NOTEWORTHY album review on the Historics, War Games,  Pets battling sex addictions- the whole gamut! Plus, tips to a few parties if God ever made you special. 

Kim Hiorthoy- Album- My Last day(clickhere)

TOO RETARDED TO BE NORMAL

I spent yesterday's brunch circling the "want" ads in the Sunday "Times." I was about three Bloody Mary's, a couple pints, and 3 whiskey shots in when a familaiar face was poking at my back.  It was a friend  of mind from LA who has been in NYC as long as I recall being "Someone Special." I was happy to see her and it was sad at the same time because I was drunk. And drunk people never know how to emote happy faces, just drunk blank ones.  I tried to feign sobriety but I probably looked crazy as a FOX!  Her birthday's coming  soon as well as this other guy-friend I know from poland.  March Birthday's rule, but only if you're an airies!  Especially Airies who are girls...It's like they get all "Catnipped" and lose their knickers allover town- Brilliant!  

Anyways, I never properly said "bye" to my friend at brunch. It was more like, "I gotta go and meet my design assistant- Peace out!"  I'm sure she was busy as well, yeah?  So what I'm trying to say in this Salt-covered post is:  I'm so glad to see you, Nat!

Later on I sobered down and watched Fight Club.  I thought about this blog and then I thought about all the people who make me smile and laugh(happiness).  I thought about Ariel Pink and little dwarfs with cool colorful knit hats.  I imagined getting divorced, having bi-polar lovers become successful actresses, and never paying taxes- Sublime!

The End.

p.s. any young girls wanna come over and snuggle with "the captain?" We can listen to my michael jackson records...or we can do some finger painting on each other.

Music...and really goood salty music- Kosher, totally kosher!

Los Microwaves- Coast to Coast from album Life after Breakfast (fuggin' rare...thank me you saltines that I ever found this for you!)

NEW ORDER- Dream Attack- Private Factory 12" release 1988 [dedicated to Natalie/Igor]

and my German favorite! Die Doraus und Die Marinas- Tulpen und narzissen

Ariel Pink- Life in LA- from album Ariel Pink's Haunted Grafitti (for my boy, Jesse)