(Losers at a basement party. Photo: Richard Petrucci)
There's just no excuse why no one wrote anything for 2 months! I guess we've been on a siesta or some fuck-wit induced coma that has led me, the principle writer, to write about funny and not so funny shit going on in life. And not just any life but the life I see, trust me it's more interesting than yours most days. Or not. Been hanging out in the country as an escape fron New York. It's all part of my bailout plan: Lay- low. In the meantime, I go to the Giant Supermarket and hit on the cashiers who've never seen a handsome yank' look this good since Will Smith(lame). Did you know that when you're attractive, people give you things. Ugly people give you THINGS!
July went too quick. I couldn't even enjoy it. I was busy tracking new songs and partying in the ugly capital of the United States(philly). According to M.Werth a Philly 10 is equivalent to a New York 4. So if you're at one of Dave P's parties and some girl wants to fuck you- watch out! She's not that beautiful.
Even though July went by rather fast alot of good things happened. An ex rang me out of the blue and we scheduled days to screw silly in LA for a few days. I found 50 dollars on the ground by the Dumbo treasure dump, Historics released their album(and it's good!), Jack Bower's bromance-casted birthday was really weird, and I watched 19 year-olds do lines of each other while some girl was giving their cat coke(he overdosed). Speaking of dying, not in the way Dave Gahan was ranting about in that "I'm a drug-addict and my wife hates me" Depeche Mode video, Dash Snow died(RIPS)- Fuck man, Michael Jackson Died!!!
So, kiddies, a lot can happen when we're not around to tell you about S**T...because I'm sure the above mentioned is "News" to you. Stay tuned this week for our NOTEWORTHY album review on the Historics, War Games, Pets battling sex addictions- the whole gamut! Plus, tips to a few parties if God ever made you special.
Kim Hiorthoy- Album- My Last day(clickhere)
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