ZAMANIG QTRLY MAGAZINE- ALL T'MORROWS PARTIES

Something Funny Happened in Santa Cruz.
I broke my ol' lady's shine. We got drunk
& I spilled the wine allover her pretty little shoes.

So long, love. Stay tuned...this week features new music from A Deadly Syndrome
and the gorgeously witty Indie rocker, WENDY JAMES told by S**t's Andy Ono!

The Zombies - tell her No- Odessy and Oracle
Ultravox- Cut and Run- Quartet

NEW GIRLS MAKE ME DIE EVERY NIGHT

Man, Just when I thought I was home free and relaxing in my friends new england cabin, I rcv'd a phone call from my boy in New York. He'd been phoning me all day and finally I caved in to take his call. He start asking me questions about girls for like 5 minutes. At some point I realised he was talking about the San Francisco band, Girls. I had listened to their album two days ago and had to stop because it was f**kin' SOLID. However, it's not all that original. They kinda do what the band Vietnam did when they were around. So when I told my boy I was over Girls, he start calling me a f**kin' "homo." No diss necessary, I'm sure most people will love the Girls. But when you have lived through the seventies and eighties and nineties, your ears are well seasoned to know a good re-run when you hear it. Now, since most bands are going back in decades searching for the next best sound, I gathered some decent new tracks from bands like Crayon Fields and Atlas Sound. I'm sure their labels will be telling me to withdraw it very soon, so grab it f**kers!
In other news regarding girls, the Godfather of Girls, Roman Polanski has been arrested. Why? Well, back in 77' Roman had "Celebrity Hot Tub in Jack Nicholson's house with some lolitas! I fell in love with him and Americans hated him ever-since...either way the Swiss gov't have not made it certain that he would be sent back to the USA for charges, but there is a chance all charges can be dropped, if the girl, now a e-list cougar actress, denies her previous allegation and bring forthsthe truth: BIG BIRD DID IT!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGIE BUCKNELL, A year Wiser and still glad to have you around!
***BANDS THAT MAKE YOU LOVE GIRLS or maybe start listening to Amazing Baby or the Historics or some other band that's been doing this s**t for a minute!

Crayon Fields- We're so old we believe it- from 2006 Album Animal Bells
Atlas Sound- Shiela- No relation to the NYC band, Schieles
Girls- Ghost Mouth-From the album, Album

James brown celebrity hottub
Uploaded by codordog.

SUNNY F**KING PORTO RICO!!!!

(Photo taken Before meeting Spicoli)
I was surprised to Google this blog to find that people still write for this!? I'm not saying anything bad about it. It's just weird that people are submitting stories to talk about native American girlfriends and fashion boutiques. Wasn't this blog supposed to be about music and s**t. Oh well, I guess everyone gets a little side-tracked. Last week I was fortunate enough to visit Puerto Rico. I hadn't been there ever and had always wanted to go. I guess it was something I had to get out of my system. The food was tasty and carbo-stocked- Just like the food above 145th street! I traveled with a fellow musician friend of mine and he was dumb enough to bring his girlfriend. There was more than enough prostitutes to go around and not like the ones you see on Sunset blvd. or worse like Hunts Point in the Bronx. No these girls/boys hadn't ever seen a mobile phone made after the year 2000, let alone get f**ked with one! So, I enjoyed myself and had the pleasure of watching my friend bang his girl missionary style. Just when I thought it was hopeless, I met this boy ( I nicked named him Spicoli)who sold me 10 joints for 5 dollars. He had to be no older than 10, man. He was like, "Papa! Papa! Smokey-smoke!" and all I could think was, Fuck YEAH, KID! Next thing I know me and Spicoli are drinking cocitos(pronounced Coke-key-toes), rum shots off whores, and doing lines off the resort brochure -definitely had a bodacious time! Later that night, on my way to my room, I realised I spent $500 dollars fucking about with Spicoli. Hell, I never wanted to do any of that. I just wanted to meet some babes, get drunk, and go para-sailing. And I did! I just didn't want to spend $500 bucks hanging around some spanish midget druglord.

Bon Iver (my boy was making swet sweet love to his girl to this song) For Emma- from For Emma Forever

Deerhunter- Little Kids- From Microcastle (To my puerto-rican homie, Spicoli)

HOLYSMOKES!! IT'S FASHION WEEK!!!!

                  (Frances in A. Trimble SS10 presentation. This girl ROCKS IT CRAZYFACE'd!)

It was another s**t-rippin' moment in New York! Fashion Night Out was like some thirst-induced social experiment where every fashion store, mom& pop, woman, man, baby with any sense of style all bombarded the streets parading around manhattan drinking and kissing in the search for the next best "Scene". Meanwhile, I was kicking it with the "Hipster Grifter and Terry Richardson at the Bowery Hotel. Some folks had fun at the Rogan store soiree or mojitos at Daryl K. Others enjoyed jelly beans and THE RAPTURE at Prada. James Friedman and my boy, Steve Christian were lurking about Prada checking out the digs and tossing back drinks- classic! On Saturday I did Make up with Claudia Lake at Untitled 11:11 and went fleeing to Milk Studios for Band of Outsiders and Victor Glemaud's fashion Show. Some time after, I was at some secret United Bamboo party getting drunk with Chris Green and Sam Kouame. Brian Degraw Dj'd the worst shit ever(I wanna f**king beat you down B.) and Sebastian Kim made me blush. Fun! Here are some images from fashion week...but what really counts is the music- whatever that means!

CFCF- Monolith- from the previously unreleased Continent Bonus EXPLORERS
HEALTH- Die Slow- from the 2009 album Get Color

p.s. propers to A.Trimble, Beatrice Flores, Matt LeKhac, Dan Au, Sebastian Kim, Chloe Melde, Olivier Zahm- Good times!!

                                                               (Photos: Andy  Ono)

LABORING POEM

I spent it in California. At some point, while sitting still, the world began to move. 

Images by Andy, Lina, and Paul.

FIN.

BROKEN and BURNED in LA

                                                                        (photo by: Pavel Morozov)
I feel like I've been allover the place lately. Korean Frank and I went to the Adirondacks to scout some scene locations for his new movie. Which later, after eating Japanese shabu in the village,  I was stranded in New York...but not for long. A friend of mine came to the rescue and let me crash at her place. And you know, for the first time I realised I could open up to her. I never realised how much we share in common or like the various new bands we like- it was an eye opener! I know I'm sounding all "Robert Smith" but that night made me realise something about me- I was way too aloof for my own good. 

I sat in her room listening to Edwarde Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros meanwhile watching her load photos of Jay-Z and Beyonce at Sunday's Grizzly Bear concert.  Jay-Z is really tall. Soon after our moment, I found myself fleeting through the NYC subways and Ivy bound through Philly to meet with my folks before leaving town. That's when I realised I left my phone charger in Brooklyn-DAMN! But it's all good. I'll be in LA in no time and hanging out with Bea'. This weekend, I plan to play frisbee and find me some good LA arrachera tacos! I hear that when you're suffering from loss, it means you're suffering from pain. You've been burned. The object to living well,  is to avoid pain altogether and accept pleasure- Unknown pleasures!

Songs to pleasurize yourself to:

Video: Desert Song by ESATMZ

Blue Foundation- Bonfires- From the album Sweep of Days

Yacht- Psychic City-From 2009 album on DFA records See Mystery Lights

WAR GAMES FOR THE SEXUALLY CHALENGED

                                             (6 Yr. Old Terrance Whitherford getting Lap Dance. Photo by Leroy)

So it's good news... this girl and I have been going out a lot.  She's Native American and part L.A. caucasian. I met her after Michael Jackson died at some party. I liked her bangs(phallic-freudian for eventually we were gonna screw). At first, I wasn't sure she was cool because her youthful appeal seemed too of the moment. Kind of like reading VICE nowadays.  But, I got over it and decided to start "steady" with her.  Since, things have been great! We went to watch ugly people at the Mad Decent block party. We witnessed a public "beat-down" between some wasp, his ricki lake looking wife, and his mistress-bitch(she later lost her diaphragm near my foot). Yep, just Splendid...Up until another girl who I used to bone, for lack of a better term, appeared out from devilknowswhere, texting me slutty shit at funerals and sending me photos of her bangin' other dudes!  In an act to avoid feeling like that asshole wasp,  I went to some social-wise staples for advice- They are fashion editor/writer Christina Draper(lucky/InStyle); novelist/musician Chris Leo( Feathers like Leather/ White Pigeons); and Los Angeles' man about town, Chez Whitey.

1) If you were steady with someone-  Native American. And all of a sudden, some former sex-demon comes outta "left field" trying to have sex with you every weekend. What would you do?

CW: You should get yours with said “sex-demon” because when you break up with your steady, you are going to look back and think to yourself “damn, why didn’t I sleep with that sex-demon when I had the chance?”

 

CD: I'd already be too busy "doing" my steady every weekend.

2) Keeping the playing fields balanced in a relationship is crucial. What is your theory on male to female regulation?

CW: Dick rationing is essential. I can’t say I am particularly good at this, but I heard a pimp talk about it, and realized he might be right. 

CD: Huh? Regulating, what are we children?

3) How many women do you regulate a night? How many men?

CD: Is "Regulate" sex code?

CW:Lately, none... Wa-wa-waahhh!!!

4) Women, I'm a fan- I have all their albums!  Would you say the same?

CD: Nah, I'm not into vag' on vag.'

CW: I love women. I need them in my life, I need feminine energy, and for someone to rub my back and head while I fall asleep after some good lovin’. That’s as damn near heaven as I’ve experienced in this crazy world. 

5) Do you believe in Love...with a woman/man?

CD: Of course. I love myself dearly, so I can totally love others.

CW: Hell yes! I’m a sucker for love. But my perception on the possibility of love has changed.I think love is something that you need to work on, and stay committed too. But I also believe women are quick to fall out of love with a man if they don’t believe you can't provide for them. 

6) If you were into a lock-up with a new love- specifically part native american/L.A. caucasian...When, if ever, is it cool to let your broad know he/she belongs to you?

CD: Are there really any Native American's left? And Second, I don't know that you can tell someone they "belong" to you, it's there choice whether they feel like being kept. 

CW:  I don’t understand the native american part. Basically, no one really ever "belongs" to anyone. The moment you start thinking that, is the moment you start slippin. Treat your girl well  or someone else might come along and start appreciating your girl, and scoop her up from right under your nose. I’ve never had that happened, but I’ve been the scooper.

7) Do you find it hard to shake some of your ol' Hoe's off? A hoe can be from either sex and usually untrustworthy.

CW: Yes, I still love everyone I’ve ever been in love with. I would really love to sleep with them all again. I wish I could combine the best parts of all my ex-lovers.

 

CD: Nope- fuck 'em they had their chance. And been there, done that- I don't have the time nor energy to explore what I already know. 

 

8) Don't you find The whole "Bro's before Hoes" thing a tad Gay?  Why not Bro's who love Hoes or Chix who snatch dix! The later ones seem less homo erotic, no?

CW: Naw, it’s not really gay. I guess the main thing is, don’t be a dick to your bro. Respect your bros. But never diss them for some girl. Because in the long run, your guy friends can be really loyal. Guys stick together, it’s rough out there. 

CD: Both of the latter terms seem like a perfect way to get " VD" ... but yes Bro's before Hoes is uber gay! I mean do those dudes spoon? 

Jack Bower: I believe it's possible. I saw Marc Jacobs do it(spoon)!

WAR GAMES- Full of Wonder- from forth coming War Games Ep

GRAND FUN RAILROAD- Some Kind of Wonderful- From 1970 album Caught in the Act.

HISTORICS BEAT FOR TEEN PREGNANCY

One of our friends released an album, Strategies for Apprehenshion.  They're a band called Historics based on both coast LA/NYC and they represent the mature man's rock group.  Kinda like Mitchum vs. Gilette deordorant. Feel me. We thought it was cool enough to post on Kosher Salt. They have a video for one of their songs, TAVERNS, but we honestly don't think it fits, so we're giving you something else to jag'-off instead.  Shout-outs to Valissa who will no longer be pedophile-bait. She is grown woman now(I know...it hurts my loins, too!). So Happy Birthday- You have just increased teen pregnancy allover the US now!

Historics- Things are Alright- Strategies for Apprehension

Historics- Kinda Personal- Strategies for Apprehension

Hall& Oates- You make my dreams come true- From Album H2O (* Valissa)

DAZED AND LOST: NYC FUKWITZ RAGE!!!

(Losers at a basement party. Photo: Richard Petrucci)

There's just no excuse why no one wrote anything for 2 months! I guess we've been on a siesta or some fuck-wit induced coma that has led me, the principle writer, to write about funny and not so funny shit going on in life. And not just any life but the life I see, trust me it's more interesting than yours most days. Or not.  Been hanging out in the country as an escape fron New York.  It's all part of my bailout plan: Lay- low.  In the meantime, I go to  the Giant Supermarket and hit on the cashiers who've never seen a handsome yank' look this good since Will Smith(lame).  Did you know that when you're attractive, people give you things. Ugly people give you THINGS!

July went too quick. I couldn't even enjoy it. I was busy tracking new songs and partying in the ugly capital of the United States(philly). According to M.Werth a Philly 10 is equivalent to a New York 4. So if you're at one of Dave P's parties and some girl wants to fuck you- watch out! She's not that beautiful. 

Even though July went by rather fast alot of good things happened. An ex rang me out of the blue and we scheduled days to screw silly in LA for a few days. I found 50 dollars on the ground by the Dumbo treasure dump, Historics released their album(and it's good!), Jack Bower's bromance-casted birthday was really weird, and I watched 19 year-olds do lines of each other while  some girl was giving their cat coke(he overdosed). Speaking of dying, not in the way Dave Gahan was ranting about in that "I'm a drug-addict and my wife hates me" Depeche Mode video,  Dash Snow died(RIPS)- Fuck man, Michael Jackson Died!!! 

So, kiddies, a lot can happen when we're not around to tell you about S**T...because I'm sure the above mentioned is "News" to you.  Stay tuned this week for our NOTEWORTHY album review on the Historics, War Games,  Pets battling sex addictions- the whole gamut! Plus, tips to a few parties if God ever made you special. 

Kim Hiorthoy- Album- My Last day(clickhere)

LONG GRIMES THE SALTY MONKEY MOUSE PLANS

Every see a sun shower that didn't give you the "moisties"? Or walk Tribeca at night with a bottle of Orme De Pez 00' and wish there was someone to drink it with you?  No?  Good.  Because had you said Yes, I might begin to think you weren't cut out to be a TRUE SALTY BRO but more like the type of LOSERS that wait in line to see Sonic Youth play a free show!

Nevermind the rant, I'm skipping town and this time it's not to go on some shadow tour or some adventure through Lesbos Island.  No. More like a sabbath into a region of nothingness.  Some place similar to David O' Russell's contemplation in his 2003 noteworthy comedy, "I Heart Huckabees."  This place is called N.  In N,  I'll meet some rad people who'll kick shit and cows for a living. And guess what, millies, I'll probably be a shit kicker also!  Then I'll visit the towns drive-thru liquor store for a pint of  Jack Daniels and some BBQ potato chips.  At night, I'll wish that all the sweet-sweet charms of my former city will overtake me into comatose state and painlssly  girate it's wellness all over my body- flesh and blood!  And in a fractions time,  I transform to a single cell.  A germ with eyes, teeth, and taped rimmed eyeglasses beckoning the fruition of the future to appear. Close. Closer.  And as it appears, my life, all new, consumes me and thrust me into the forests and villaged suburbs, through the city-lings of a Green Desert until I reach the city of industry- metallic with lights flickering as winded candles.  Standing hope and trotting faith- all the way back to John Street. Where I'll begin again. Better!

Grizzly Bear- Cheerleader- From 2009 Veckimatest

Bibio- Lover's Cravings- From Forthcoming Warp Records Release Ambivalence Avenue (z-s link)

WARP'd OUT ON MEMORIAL DAZE ACID!

Me: So Memorial Day is here.... S**t I forgot what day it's on!
Blonde Girl intern(Jesse):I think it's the whole weekend
Me: Now, you know there's some heavy trippage when I can't even remember Memorial Day. It is a day about memories n' s**t?! Whatever. The SALTY FOUR guys asked me to jog' your brains with some cool events:

1)WARP RECORDS E-MORIAL DAY PARTY in Williamsburg- The next best thing to Isabelle Hupperts love triangle!
2) Vice Party Tonight (May 20th)...shh! underage hipster girls need not apply. The Pedophile police will be on watch!
3) Moma Party SATURDAY NITE! 8-11pm in Midtown NYC
4) SUP' MAGAZINE PARTY 12am May 23rd 93 N.6th St Wilmsbrg Brooklyn- $8 bucks
New Order- Evil Dust- From white label 1982 12"

OH NO!! THE SALT HAS RUN A MUCK!

Sitting in the bed afterwards, at some point, with this feeling of regret sinking into my chest. I look at her leaving my hotel room without her knowing I'm looking at her. She left me a note. I won't read it, but I'll bet she's in love with me now- Damn!

The official sound selection to make sexual mistakes to while in Europe 1) Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy" from The Age of Consent
2)Interpol "Not Even Jail" from Interpolantics 3) Xymox's classic 1985 song "No Words" of Subsequent Pleasures(alt. Link)

ITCHY HANDS AND SWINE FLU KILLS MY ASS

Lately,  I've been traveling down a good road leading to all kinds of possiblities.  I even started working at a grocer market for yuppies just so I can learn a thing or two about humble starts....No, I'm not kidding.  I'm a grocer-bagger guy who can tell you how to spend $1000 bucks and feel like  shit in a plastic bag all at once!  I return this week bearing great sentiment of new music, new birds, new homes, and new checks.  Last Friday I was kicking it in village with SKEW.  He's a musician that I'm certain most people who read this blog know nothing about,  but if you know a thing or two about him, then you know how "ill" the night went.  It's funny how musicians have become a dime a dozen and great musicians have been burried alive...and even though I don't fully believe in that later statement, it does hold it's validity.  The modern recording artist, for the most part, are jokes! Just some kid with some software and some fuggin Justice/ Kanye West  albums.  Not saying those guys aren't good at what they do, but seriously, that's not viable music in my opinion... No!  it's the next level of PVD 12" and Oakenfold singles.  uggh!

See you Azzholes in a few weeks..My pretentious rant has now ended with some SALT FOR YA' EARS!

THOM YORKE ERASER(SKEW REMIX) FROM 2008 ALBUM  ERASER

Only if We Live to See Tomorrow, Tony!

Not really much time to write. It's not like we're on the road playing gigs and scoring kids, but it's sure as hell close to it! I didn't want to not post anything(double negative) especially since I haven't in a while. So the last time I wrote a post, I was going through some Dylan s**t and thinking about my girl and some old girls...but I've sort of sorted it all out for me self. And I've come upon the conclusion to not kick it with any of my ex-love muffins and focus extra hard on my s**t and the band. In the meantime, any hot broad I meet in Dumbo outside the cafe on Front and Adams street can do. Or I may just have to escape to LA and figure this s**t out in the desert.

Some booka shade for the memories when I use to lie in your bedroom watching the world around us leave our space. I miss the UWS, Ol' school BKLYN, and the way we used to be when we were smarter! Numbers + White Rooms.

Put The Broad Down! Now!!!

Believe it or not, the word broad may come from an 18th-century slang use of the word to mean 'playing card'. How that meaning sprang up is uncertain, as is when and why the word broad came to mean an entrance ticket or transportation ticket. The origin of the 'ticket' meaning is in American circus slang, but it's only speculative to say that entrance tickets looked like playing cards in the era when this usage arose (1912 is the earliest citation).

What we have to connect women with tickets is a definition in Jackson and Hellyer's 1914 A Vocabulary of Criminal Slang, with Some Examples of Common Usages. It's worth quoting in full:

"Noun, Current amongst genteel grafters chiefly. A female confederate; a female companion, a woman of loose morals. Broad is derived from the far-fetched metaphor of 'meal ticket,' signifying a female provider for a pimp, from the fanciful correspondence of a meal ticket to a railroad or other ticket."

Those genteel grafters weren't the only ones using the term, and it became widespread in gangster-speak and then spread to "uneducated" youth, then (as slang usually does) to more mainstream youth trying to sound cool. The original meaning implied a woman who, if not a prostitute, was at least of loose moral character. The connection to prostitution was close enough that we get a false etymology from 1926 saying that broad is derived from bawd, and this exchange from Raymond Chandler's 1934 magazine piece "Finger Man": "I saw plenty wrong with your broad's manners." "She's not a broad."

However, the general use to mean 'woman' spread fairly quickly too; in "Guys and Dolls" (1932), one character says "He refers to Miss Perry as a broad, meaning no harm whatever, for this is the way many of the boys speak of the dolls." This use was never really approved of, and the women's movement drove in the final coffin nails, so that it's rare to find a use of broad after 1975 that simply means 'woman'.

Nowadays, although the sexual innuendo has pretty much vanished from the meaning of broad, its use is still chiefly contemptuous, as exemplified by the fact that it's also prison slang for a man who plays the woman's role in homosexual sex. Of course the term has also been co-opted in other contexts by different people to express a variety of different characteristics. What's a broad to you?!

Hits to ya' Baby Maker!!

"Perhaps it's the colour of the  sun capped fly or the crossroads I'm standing at....Or maybe it's the weather or someting like that, but Mama you've been on my mind." I woke up this morning with an old feeling in my soul. I felt like life was showing me a mirror of the future or maybe I awoke with an intense LSD flashback, but whatever I felt, it was warm and alive! Usually at a pivotal point of my life, I have very vivid dreams and this morning one was born.  I dreamt I was a Dad to a beautiful enfant girl. In the dream, I'd walk the streets of chelsea with her to my office and we'd leave at night  coming home to a small apartment.  There was a woman who lived with me and we seemed happy- quietly happy-  You know- reading books in between words and playing Dylan in the morning or Bach at night to put our little girl to sleep.   There was something quite  slow and calm about the whole dream. And that's what made it feel so real!  However, the possibility of it being a reality without me ever knowing I have a kid is imposible.  I guess there was always some  displaced feeling since I walked away from whatsherface, but what's the fuggin' chance of it coming to those terms.  Fug it! For now,  I'll just be curious to know, place a jacket over my shoulders, and go for a ride. 

Oh, so last week, The Schieles began a new song.  Noah and I will re work it as soon as we can...it's worth the sneek peek we put on myspace!  And wait...Happy Birthday N. Rubin!

B. Dylan's gorgeous tracks that I would wake up to play if I had an enfant 1) Mama, You've been on my mind 2) Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts (Right click it!)

LOOSE LIPS SALT SHIPS!!!

Awake.   Friday morning in Greenwich Village somewhere on washington street walking into the apple store to purchase a hard drive.  Glen was assisting me on some photoshoot for Gemma Kahng and I was living the high streets again but 15 times broker-er!  Somehow the baseball helmet tightly fixed to my head gave me some immediate satisfaction along with the amount of babes having afternoon lunch with their sugar-daddies in Meat-Packing(I assume it's meaning is homo-erotic).  I spotted a few babes outside of Pastis looking at me.  I ignored them as soon as I could smell their hair products and decided to keep down the street.

Later that night was fun! I saw some familiar friends and a buddy from design school I haven't seen in a while because he moved to Oregon.  Somewhere during this moment I resented having to be the source of entertainment and wanted to grab some woman and "do" her but I didn't.  I just stood behind the turntables mixing records and lacing myself with enough psychs that I might just forget myself and leave the party. I wanted to leave and go to the desert, sip tequilla from a water jug, and sing Gary Puckett's Young Girls out load enough to wake the gila monsters! But instead I played happy music.  An Opposite to my earlier Dj's who played awful, awful, depression music!  They really suck, but those guys are friends of mine.  So, they don't always suck, just then, just that night.  

Afterhours. I walked into a Mcdonalds at 3a.m. with Frank. I ordered 2 fillet o' fish for $3, 2 apple pies for $1, and a small fry$1. the total was $5..42 and the guy gave me back 15 dollars.  I shortchanged the McDonalds guy. I'm happy now.

Hippie music muther***ker! Eric Burdon & The Animals-Sky Pilot  2) Lynn Anderson's Rosegarden 3)Donovan's Season of the Witch- right click it!

WHO THE HELL ASKED FOR SNOW IN NEW YORK!!? I was on my way out of my house to get my daily bagel w/peanut butter before heading to SoHo and BLAMMO! Snow. WTF?! Last night I was jogging over the Manhattan Bridge with my seemingly sketch neighbor when it started to drizzle. But Snow, really! I guess I won't be doing much this Friday other than drinking tea and eating old ass graham crackers that Chloe's Nonna sent. I think she didn't check the expiration date.
Anyway, there are some super Birthday "shouts" we'd like to do for all the friends and writers of the Blog whose b-days are approaching- which makes them either Pisces or Aries. So Here we go...."Happy SALTY Birthday" Nasir, Nobu, Noah, Justine, Karen, Sarah, and Hoon! So much to say to you all, I can't decide what to do. For now, I'll grab a beer, sip it, and blast some M83. Rad. Some Birthday Songs to play for people to get em all snuggly and salt'd!

Safir- Can U Fell Me?- from 1994 album Boxcar Sessions- (Zshare Only)
International Music System- Run Away- From Very Rare IMS 12" Edit
Panda Bear- Bro's- from 2007 album Person Pitch

THE UNFORGETTABLE SEASON

"This is what I thought you said...talking on the phone! " Two years ago when I quit my job and began my career at doing whatever I want, a friend told me that it would be worth my while. I knew that already, but living off your savings can be a bit weird. I recall last summer biking all around Manhattan looking at creeps and babes. It was fantastic! Then I went to LA and started driving all- over the city. I began to hang out on 3rd street by the Whole Foods market just to pick up babes. Then I'd go to Scout and hang out with their shopgirl, Angela- some hipster who should've been a yuppie. I ended back in New York after a few months of that and began doing the same S**t allover again.
Today I'm riding through SoHo and hanging out in A.P.C. talking to the Shop Girls. I think I might start working there for a month. If I do, Ill let y'all know (How very Texan of me). In the Meantime, Let's give a hoo-rah for VAN PELT's performance at SXSW!!! And Let's spread the enthusiasm for VIOLENS who will be playing at the American Apparel's Party- Sup Glen!

Cassettes Won't Listen- Freeze and Explode from album Small Time Machine
Okkervil River- Lost Coastlines- from the album The Stand-In's
And my old band Nightslashers(post-Chris Otto & Pre-Schieles)- James, I don't Care- Letters -Zshare

AUSTIN, SEXAS HYSSSSSTERICSSSS!!!

Hi gang!  We're Back after an intense weekend of partying and to make sure you get what you want outta life we're throwing some party info for all you SXSW people!!!  I hear NYC is gonna be very empty with everyone in the "Lonsome" State, but not for long.  I'm sure New Yorkers will find a way  to Cut loose!  Cut Copy will be in town on Saturday at Terminal 5 then they Dj with Alex from Holy Ghost at Le Poison Rouge...and Ksubi along with Modular are throwing a Party  at Beast Wednesday. 

So if you're in Austin, American Apparel and Brooklyn's own THE VIOLENS are playing! Check the picture above!  Also, Filter Magazine is having a Party with White Lies and Chairlift.  Vivan Girls are at Rhasphody this year! Don't forget to see Amazing Baby at  The FADER's Fort.  Vice is saving Texas again- Party Hard!  Well, that does it for now, you scum buckets!  I gotta pick up some food and a blonde from the grocer-mart. Sheer Radness!  

THE 13th- JACK'D AND READY TO SLAP HIPPIES!!!

Last night after leaving Amazing Baby's album party,  some Dirty Hippie fuck jacked my bike rod and seat!  I immediately wanted to walk down ludlow and smack any  dingy plaid shirt wearing SHAG-FAG I saw on the street, but Noah stopped me.  He was like, " Don't worry, Hipsters are retarded.  They don't know any better."  He's right, but that just made me feel worse like the time when this freckly green eyed girl looked me in the eyes while giving me the worst blow job ever or the time when I heard "Only You" from Yaz- Retarded?! Okay-Okay... What's done is done. No one wants to read a post about me yelling at hippies all day, but before I conclude my rant lemme protest:  You hippies got over on me this time.  Just wait...one of these days I'm gonna kidnap you assholes, bathe you in REAL SOAP, and turn you into your worst nightmare- a Wall street derivatives broker/ coke head prostitute that believes in steak dinners and J.P. Tods!

On another subject, I rcv'd some tremdous feedback on Christian's album for Phoenix.  Thanks to those guys for dishing out the mp3's to the S4 crew.  Now gimme some loot for the free publicity we gave ya!  For now I leave you guys with some trax for both HIM/ HER....Masculin et Feminin-  Get Ready!  See you at Maison IX  at LOVE, NYC tonight

Moving Units- X and Y- from 2003  12" release 

AMAZING BABY- Bayonets- from 2009 album Caribbean Winter

REVENGE OF THE SALTY MONDAYS!!

I took a small vacation from the Saltiness. It was more like being in some tripped-out weekend long dream involving trick Springtime weather, riding bikes wasted with Gren, drinking beers at 9 a.m. getting women to embrace divorce, losing my wallet, missing the Armory for lamb burgers, and thinking about LA- The desert! Somehow I ended back in my bedroom on a rainy/pissy brooklyn morning wondering where are my socks and why I end up sleeping with a girl whom I despise? J'mepris!

But it's all Frosted flakes, guys! I'm back and ready to give you some music to jam to and something to look at that's alot more interesting than what you're looking at while you're at work or what I woke up next to this morning. It's gonna be an awesome week! If you're in Paris, Cosmic Wonder is having a party for a new fashion book they produced. Find more on Super Future. More event tips are to come this week so stay tuned if you wanna be something in life.

Billy Ocean- Loverboy- from 1984 album Suddenly
The Jesus Mary Chain- Sowing Seeds- from 1982 album Psycho Candy
Sean Lennon- Headlights- from 2007 album Friendly Fires
Skew- Bring on the Riffs- from 2008 album Skew

KISSING GAMES: LIPS SO SALTY

I always wanted to know what makes a great kisser.  Is it the lips (full or flat)?  The wet or dryness of heat from the nostrils that seem to all but say, "harder, faster, stronger"?  Is it the watery stary eyes locked to mine, faced upon themselves to be conquered- a thirsty desire quench and longing satifaction!? What is it?  Maybe I should just go outside, look someone in the eyes, flash em' my "James Franco," and plant one  on em!  Last week, I made out with some married woman. I don't know what was going through her mind, but I knew what was going through mine because it was happening in my pants.  I think they call this love at first sting as per the Scorpions (My favorite c-list band!). 

I gotta call from my ex today. She's taking my fat-ass cat back to France. You heartless bastard! I never understood why I always end on either poles- cool or uncool.  For once, can't I just be "okay" or "in the middle."  A lot of people tend to end up there.  Michael Jackson said "Stick in the middle-Yeah Yeah!"  in that song Startin' Something and in most threesomes the girl in the middle seems to get best of both worlds.  By the way,  I hate that term(Threesome).  Why can't it be called, "Wild bunchin'" or "Double Deckin'"..Hell, I'll even say "Multi-box" before I say that Thr33some S**t.  I'm being rude, right now....I'm secretly writing this post while at a movie date with this girl.  Yes, I'm bored...with Liam Neeson! The girl is awesome!  We might meet-up with  Tigerface at beatrice inn later, but first I have to practice some of that kissing magic!

Songs to Salt-Kiss to

The Cure- One more Time- from album Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me

French Kicks- Trial of the Century- from album Trial of The Century (For Saemi) 

and some xtra-salt from YYY's-Sweets- from album Show your Bones

We Are ZombyTwisterz

They are among us, but you can't really distinguish them during the day. It's only when the music comes through their bodies that the zombytwisterz have to do these strange moves. Their limbs are dislocated and they start transforming.
Zombytwisters are in a way only people who try to dance differently, but it's also a way to remove stress. You either like it or you don't. They don't care. They are gonna invade the dancefloor without any regrets. They want to show you what they can do and they are gonna prove to you that the revolution is on his way. The TWIST is BACK!
BE CAREFULL!!

TOO RETARDED TO BE NORMAL

I spent yesterday's brunch circling the "want" ads in the Sunday "Times." I was about three Bloody Mary's, a couple pints, and 3 whiskey shots in when a familaiar face was poking at my back.  It was a friend  of mind from LA who has been in NYC as long as I recall being "Someone Special." I was happy to see her and it was sad at the same time because I was drunk. And drunk people never know how to emote happy faces, just drunk blank ones.  I tried to feign sobriety but I probably looked crazy as a FOX!  Her birthday's coming  soon as well as this other guy-friend I know from poland.  March Birthday's rule, but only if you're an airies!  Especially Airies who are girls...It's like they get all "Catnipped" and lose their knickers allover town- Brilliant!  

Anyways, I never properly said "bye" to my friend at brunch. It was more like, "I gotta go and meet my design assistant- Peace out!"  I'm sure she was busy as well, yeah?  So what I'm trying to say in this Salt-covered post is:  I'm so glad to see you, Nat!

Later on I sobered down and watched Fight Club.  I thought about this blog and then I thought about all the people who make me smile and laugh(happiness).  I thought about Ariel Pink and little dwarfs with cool colorful knit hats.  I imagined getting divorced, having bi-polar lovers become successful actresses, and never paying taxes- Sublime!

The End.

p.s. any young girls wanna come over and snuggle with "the captain?" We can listen to my michael jackson records...or we can do some finger painting on each other.

Music...and really goood salty music- Kosher, totally kosher!

Los Microwaves- Coast to Coast from album Life after Breakfast (fuggin' rare...thank me you saltines that I ever found this for you!)

NEW ORDER- Dream Attack- Private Factory 12" release 1988 [dedicated to Natalie/Igor]

and my German favorite! Die Doraus und Die Marinas- Tulpen und narzissen

Ariel Pink- Life in LA- from album Ariel Pink's Haunted Grafitti (for my boy, Jesse)

90's WAKE THE MODERN WORLD- SALTKKAKKE YOUR EARS!!

During a New York Times interview for an audio series on New York City raconteurs, the interviewer asked me who my peers are, and as I was rattling off the list of my typical dudes, a glaring theme began deciphering itself to me for the first time: though my friends may be as varied as anyone’s – painters, architects, teachers, designers, lawyers – they’re nearly all involved with the making of music in some small way, as am I. So, duh, this might seem so obvious I should’ve picked up on it from the get go, but the thing is, I do my best at avoiding facing music head on at all costs. I try monitoring it sideways with my periphery, keeping it at an arm‘s length. Kind of a don’t ask don’t tell policy between it and me. Like the sun, though reading it through its reflection off the moon might not seem like the most direct source of info, if you look dead on in going straight for the goods it’ll be the last thing you’ll ever see. The New York Times never called me back and never ran the interview. I think this is where I blew it. This is to say that music is second bliss or near, but definitely not first, for all the people I move about easily with.

In a self-flagelling way, I suppose that it did get me here so I shouldn‘t be so wary, but I never would have made it if I was an all out junkie keeping it in first. No, I’ve been on the William S. Boroughs diet with it, an on again off again for eternal youth that’s rendered me seasoned enough to know that regardless of what I proclaim or protest. I can never be off off off (which is to say in permanent second position) with it. In fact, I’m writing this in the wake of a Van Pelt practice for a reunion show at SXSW 12 years after we broke up. Initially excited to revisit the rockin’ songs that should have had the right amount of ignorance in them to get me where I need to be (with it in second place), I find myself instead moping down the street thinking about our song “Let’s Make A List” wherein nothing ever happens and when it gets to the chorus, even less happens. I am destroyed and wallowing in it, wanting yet not hurrying to put music back where it belongs so I can move on and maybe even dance tonight.
Maybe, I'll salt the Soup.
(For full essay visit "Artists on the Verge" at chrisleolive.blogspot.com)

Van Pelt- Let's Make a List- from album Sultans of Sentiment[alt link]

Van Pelt- His Saxaphone is my Guitar- from album Stealing from Our Favourite Thieves

The Swirlies- Sarah Sitting- from album What to do About Them

My Bloody Valentine- Cigarette in your Bed- from album You Made me Realise Ep

this salts for you audrey...wherever you are...

[where were you when i fell from grace][frozen heart, an empty space]

[somethings changing, its in your eyes] [please don't speak, you'll only lie]

[i just hang on suffer well][sometimes its hard][its hard to tell]

[i found treasure not where i thought][peace of mind can't be bought]

[still i believe]

[i just hang on][suffer well][sometimes its hard][its hard to tell]

[an angel led me when i was blind][i said take me back, i've changed my mind]

[now i believe]

[i just hang on] [suffer well][sometimes its hard][its hard to tell]

[from the blackest room][I was torn][you called my name][our love was born]

[so i believe]

[i just hang on][suffer well][sometimes its hard][so hard hard to tell]

I'M SOOO DOING THIS TO YOU!!!

Hey, What the Fuck, Jay?! I didn't want to do this but you asked me to write a post, didn't you? You really need to be more clever lately. So here, Mr. Pretentious, your salty story!
I'm sitting in the airport & waiting for my plane to france and I'm thinking, "Why would he ask me to write for him?" "Is he crazy?" Certainly, he must know that I'm angry with him. Yes, Yes, I know, Jay, Bears get angry and not humans...but I'm pretty upset with you! Can you blame me? Wouldn't you be upset if your "husband" whom you never see and lives across the Atlantic oceans, decides to avoid spending time with you? Wouldn't you just want to kick him in the kneecaps? I guess I'd be able to accept his attitude if it was a matter of him having a lot on his mind or that he's been ill, but I haven't a single clue? Not one single talk from him in the last past week other than an email asking me to write for this blog. How dare you, mister!

Sorry, I had to express myself to everyone. But now, I don't feel better, just even.

This is the part when I share some tunes or some videos for people to have fun with or kick some sense in these guys heads! Perhaps some of my favourites including Arthur Russell, Belle & Sebastian, The Beatles, Cut Copy, M.Ward, M-83, Pharcyde vs. Radiohead, and No Doubt...Video from Jean Luc's Mascilin Feminin

Arthur Russell- Instrumentals 2A- From album, 1st Thought Best Thought

Belle & Sebastian- Lazy Line Painter Jane from album Push Barman to Open Wounds

The Beatles- Don't Let me Down- from album, Let it Be

Cut Copy- Far Away- from album, Ghost in Couleurs

M. Ward- Vincent O'Brien- from album, Transfiguration of Vincent O'Brien

M-83- Couleurs- from album Saturdays = Youth

Pharcyde vs. Radiohead- High & Dry- Courtesy of Team Canada

No Doubt- Excuse me, Mister- from album, Tragic Kingdom