LOOSE LIPS SALT SHIPS!!!

Awake.   Friday morning in Greenwich Village somewhere on washington street walking into the apple store to purchase a hard drive.  Glen was assisting me on some photoshoot for Gemma Kahng and I was living the high streets again but 15 times broker-er!  Somehow the baseball helmet tightly fixed to my head gave me some immediate satisfaction along with the amount of babes having afternoon lunch with their sugar-daddies in Meat-Packing(I assume it's meaning is homo-erotic).  I spotted a few babes outside of Pastis looking at me.  I ignored them as soon as I could smell their hair products and decided to keep down the street.

Later that night was fun! I saw some familiar friends and a buddy from design school I haven't seen in a while because he moved to Oregon.  Somewhere during this moment I resented having to be the source of entertainment and wanted to grab some woman and "do" her but I didn't.  I just stood behind the turntables mixing records and lacing myself with enough psychs that I might just forget myself and leave the party. I wanted to leave and go to the desert, sip tequilla from a water jug, and sing Gary Puckett's Young Girls out load enough to wake the gila monsters! But instead I played happy music.  An Opposite to my earlier Dj's who played awful, awful, depression music!  They really suck, but those guys are friends of mine.  So, they don't always suck, just then, just that night.  

Afterhours. I walked into a Mcdonalds at 3a.m. with Frank. I ordered 2 fillet o' fish for $3, 2 apple pies for $1, and a small fry$1. the total was $5..42 and the guy gave me back 15 dollars.  I shortchanged the McDonalds guy. I'm happy now.

Hippie music muther***ker! Eric Burdon & The Animals-Sky Pilot  2) Lynn Anderson's Rosegarden 3)Donovan's Season of the Witch- right click it!

WHO THE HELL ASKED FOR SNOW IN NEW YORK!!? I was on my way out of my house to get my daily bagel w/peanut butter before heading to SoHo and BLAMMO! Snow. WTF?! Last night I was jogging over the Manhattan Bridge with my seemingly sketch neighbor when it started to drizzle. But Snow, really! I guess I won't be doing much this Friday other than drinking tea and eating old ass graham crackers that Chloe's Nonna sent. I think she didn't check the expiration date.
Anyway, there are some super Birthday "shouts" we'd like to do for all the friends and writers of the Blog whose b-days are approaching- which makes them either Pisces or Aries. So Here we go...."Happy SALTY Birthday" Nasir, Nobu, Noah, Justine, Karen, Sarah, and Hoon! So much to say to you all, I can't decide what to do. For now, I'll grab a beer, sip it, and blast some M83. Rad. Some Birthday Songs to play for people to get em all snuggly and salt'd!

Safir- Can U Fell Me?- from 1994 album Boxcar Sessions- (Zshare Only)
International Music System- Run Away- From Very Rare IMS 12" Edit
Panda Bear- Bro's- from 2007 album Person Pitch

THE UNFORGETTABLE SEASON

"This is what I thought you said...talking on the phone! " Two years ago when I quit my job and began my career at doing whatever I want, a friend told me that it would be worth my while. I knew that already, but living off your savings can be a bit weird. I recall last summer biking all around Manhattan looking at creeps and babes. It was fantastic! Then I went to LA and started driving all- over the city. I began to hang out on 3rd street by the Whole Foods market just to pick up babes. Then I'd go to Scout and hang out with their shopgirl, Angela- some hipster who should've been a yuppie. I ended back in New York after a few months of that and began doing the same S**t allover again.
Today I'm riding through SoHo and hanging out in A.P.C. talking to the Shop Girls. I think I might start working there for a month. If I do, Ill let y'all know (How very Texan of me). In the Meantime, Let's give a hoo-rah for VAN PELT's performance at SXSW!!! And Let's spread the enthusiasm for VIOLENS who will be playing at the American Apparel's Party- Sup Glen!

Cassettes Won't Listen- Freeze and Explode from album Small Time Machine
Okkervil River- Lost Coastlines- from the album The Stand-In's
And my old band Nightslashers(post-Chris Otto & Pre-Schieles)- James, I don't Care- Letters -Zshare

AUSTIN, SEXAS HYSSSSSTERICSSSS!!!

Hi gang!  We're Back after an intense weekend of partying and to make sure you get what you want outta life we're throwing some party info for all you SXSW people!!!  I hear NYC is gonna be very empty with everyone in the "Lonsome" State, but not for long.  I'm sure New Yorkers will find a way  to Cut loose!  Cut Copy will be in town on Saturday at Terminal 5 then they Dj with Alex from Holy Ghost at Le Poison Rouge...and Ksubi along with Modular are throwing a Party  at Beast Wednesday. 

So if you're in Austin, American Apparel and Brooklyn's own THE VIOLENS are playing! Check the picture above!  Also, Filter Magazine is having a Party with White Lies and Chairlift.  Vivan Girls are at Rhasphody this year! Don't forget to see Amazing Baby at  The FADER's Fort.  Vice is saving Texas again- Party Hard!  Well, that does it for now, you scum buckets!  I gotta pick up some food and a blonde from the grocer-mart. Sheer Radness!  

THE 13th- JACK'D AND READY TO SLAP HIPPIES!!!

Last night after leaving Amazing Baby's album party,  some Dirty Hippie fuck jacked my bike rod and seat!  I immediately wanted to walk down ludlow and smack any  dingy plaid shirt wearing SHAG-FAG I saw on the street, but Noah stopped me.  He was like, " Don't worry, Hipsters are retarded.  They don't know any better."  He's right, but that just made me feel worse like the time when this freckly green eyed girl looked me in the eyes while giving me the worst blow job ever or the time when I heard "Only You" from Yaz- Retarded?! Okay-Okay... What's done is done. No one wants to read a post about me yelling at hippies all day, but before I conclude my rant lemme protest:  You hippies got over on me this time.  Just wait...one of these days I'm gonna kidnap you assholes, bathe you in REAL SOAP, and turn you into your worst nightmare- a Wall street derivatives broker/ coke head prostitute that believes in steak dinners and J.P. Tods!

On another subject, I rcv'd some tremdous feedback on Christian's album for Phoenix.  Thanks to those guys for dishing out the mp3's to the S4 crew.  Now gimme some loot for the free publicity we gave ya!  For now I leave you guys with some trax for both HIM/ HER....Masculin et Feminin-  Get Ready!  See you at Maison IX  at LOVE, NYC tonight

Moving Units- X and Y- from 2003  12" release 

AMAZING BABY- Bayonets- from 2009 album Caribbean Winter

REVENGE OF THE SALTY MONDAYS!!

I took a small vacation from the Saltiness. It was more like being in some tripped-out weekend long dream involving trick Springtime weather, riding bikes wasted with Gren, drinking beers at 9 a.m. getting women to embrace divorce, losing my wallet, missing the Armory for lamb burgers, and thinking about LA- The desert! Somehow I ended back in my bedroom on a rainy/pissy brooklyn morning wondering where are my socks and why I end up sleeping with a girl whom I despise? J'mepris!

But it's all Frosted flakes, guys! I'm back and ready to give you some music to jam to and something to look at that's alot more interesting than what you're looking at while you're at work or what I woke up next to this morning. It's gonna be an awesome week! If you're in Paris, Cosmic Wonder is having a party for a new fashion book they produced. Find more on Super Future. More event tips are to come this week so stay tuned if you wanna be something in life.

Billy Ocean- Loverboy- from 1984 album Suddenly
The Jesus Mary Chain- Sowing Seeds- from 1982 album Psycho Candy
Sean Lennon- Headlights- from 2007 album Friendly Fires
Skew- Bring on the Riffs- from 2008 album Skew

KISSING GAMES: LIPS SO SALTY

I always wanted to know what makes a great kisser.  Is it the lips (full or flat)?  The wet or dryness of heat from the nostrils that seem to all but say, "harder, faster, stronger"?  Is it the watery stary eyes locked to mine, faced upon themselves to be conquered- a thirsty desire quench and longing satifaction!? What is it?  Maybe I should just go outside, look someone in the eyes, flash em' my "James Franco," and plant one  on em!  Last week, I made out with some married woman. I don't know what was going through her mind, but I knew what was going through mine because it was happening in my pants.  I think they call this love at first sting as per the Scorpions (My favorite c-list band!). 

I gotta call from my ex today. She's taking my fat-ass cat back to France. You heartless bastard! I never understood why I always end on either poles- cool or uncool.  For once, can't I just be "okay" or "in the middle."  A lot of people tend to end up there.  Michael Jackson said "Stick in the middle-Yeah Yeah!"  in that song Startin' Something and in most threesomes the girl in the middle seems to get best of both worlds.  By the way,  I hate that term(Threesome).  Why can't it be called, "Wild bunchin'" or "Double Deckin'"..Hell, I'll even say "Multi-box" before I say that Thr33some S**t.  I'm being rude, right now....I'm secretly writing this post while at a movie date with this girl.  Yes, I'm bored...with Liam Neeson! The girl is awesome!  We might meet-up with  Tigerface at beatrice inn later, but first I have to practice some of that kissing magic!

Songs to Salt-Kiss to

The Cure- One more Time- from album Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me

French Kicks- Trial of the Century- from album Trial of The Century (For Saemi) 

and some xtra-salt from YYY's-Sweets- from album Show your Bones

We Are ZombyTwisterz

They are among us, but you can't really distinguish them during the day. It's only when the music comes through their bodies that the zombytwisterz have to do these strange moves. Their limbs are dislocated and they start transforming.
Zombytwisters are in a way only people who try to dance differently, but it's also a way to remove stress. You either like it or you don't. They don't care. They are gonna invade the dancefloor without any regrets. They want to show you what they can do and they are gonna prove to you that the revolution is on his way. The TWIST is BACK!
BE CAREFULL!!

TOO RETARDED TO BE NORMAL

I spent yesterday's brunch circling the "want" ads in the Sunday "Times." I was about three Bloody Mary's, a couple pints, and 3 whiskey shots in when a familaiar face was poking at my back.  It was a friend  of mind from LA who has been in NYC as long as I recall being "Someone Special." I was happy to see her and it was sad at the same time because I was drunk. And drunk people never know how to emote happy faces, just drunk blank ones.  I tried to feign sobriety but I probably looked crazy as a FOX!  Her birthday's coming  soon as well as this other guy-friend I know from poland.  March Birthday's rule, but only if you're an airies!  Especially Airies who are girls...It's like they get all "Catnipped" and lose their knickers allover town- Brilliant!  

Anyways, I never properly said "bye" to my friend at brunch. It was more like, "I gotta go and meet my design assistant- Peace out!"  I'm sure she was busy as well, yeah?  So what I'm trying to say in this Salt-covered post is:  I'm so glad to see you, Nat!

Later on I sobered down and watched Fight Club.  I thought about this blog and then I thought about all the people who make me smile and laugh(happiness).  I thought about Ariel Pink and little dwarfs with cool colorful knit hats.  I imagined getting divorced, having bi-polar lovers become successful actresses, and never paying taxes- Sublime!

The End.

p.s. any young girls wanna come over and snuggle with "the captain?" We can listen to my michael jackson records...or we can do some finger painting on each other.

Music...and really goood salty music- Kosher, totally kosher!

Los Microwaves- Coast to Coast from album Life after Breakfast (fuggin' rare...thank me you saltines that I ever found this for you!)

NEW ORDER- Dream Attack- Private Factory 12" release 1988 [dedicated to Natalie/Igor]

and my German favorite! Die Doraus und Die Marinas- Tulpen und narzissen

Ariel Pink- Life in LA- from album Ariel Pink's Haunted Grafitti (for my boy, Jesse)